I woke up this morning looking forward to a new day full of surprises and happy thoughts. After a long night of online conversationing (which was complete insanity I must tell you) I was relatively tired. That does happens when you go to bed around 2am and have to get up at 7:30am. I was prepared for that. I was still happy. The chat was worth the tiredness I have today. I'm pretty sure I kept Gabby up with my laughing.
But anyway, back to the point: Today. I was positive and feeling good about myself. Work has been going well and I should be making a lot of money soon. I am very good at it and I can be successful. After beating the daily record for reschedules, I am pretty satisfied that I can be the best. I thought about how nice it was that I can be so confident. So I got on the bus to get to work only to realize that today is February 14th. As is socially acceptable in my situation, I sighed deeply and felt bad for myself.
This made me wonder: why did I just do that? Why must I feel upset on this day? Well, the simple social answer would be that I am single. Not only that, but I am still getting over being dumped. That puts a damper on things. But why would this particular day make it harder, you ask? Well honestly, there is no good reason why this day, February 14th, should make me feel any better or worse than November 18th or June 3rd would. Unfortunately, I have been raised in a society that tells me to be depressed on this day. So naturally, I followed suit with tradition.
After my deep thoughts on the bus, I finally got to work and signed into my computer. I get a friendly hello on my google chat from a pal that moved away last year. I was happy to hear that I could do him a favor. I gladly accepted the invitation to do service...only to find out that the deed was to order the flowers he needed to get for his girlfriend. As much as I loved doing that for someone else, I found it ironic that I have now ordered flowers for a different girl more than once without ever receiving flowers myself. At least I am an expert of the process now right? Well, this naturally saddened my poor heart according to tradition and I longed for flowers as any girl should.
By no means do I want anyone to think I am bitter, because I am far from that, but I did find it interesting today that I have felt the need to be more upset than normal. Isn't happiness a choice? Shouldn't I be able to choose to be happy today? For some reason it really is harder than most days to do such a simple action. It baffles me how much a society and traditions can affect a person. This makes me upset to know that other people are not coming to this same conclusion that I am and are really letting this get to them. Logically, I should not be more sad today in comparison to other days. Therefore, since I am logical in nature, I am not going to be. I will acknowledge the fact that people with a significant other can have an excuse to dote on each other, but I will not accept the tradition that single people should feel like poo.
I will be hopeful that something very happy could happen today. Either it will be just like any other Thursday, or perhaps it could be even better! Who knows what could happen? Every day is a surprise right? Well, let's just hope I don't become a Saint and get my heart ripped out...
3 comments:
Well, if you did become a saint, you'd be remembered FOREVER. Seriously, who would forget a name like Saint Janae?
I actually read a pretty funny post by a guy ranting about his birthday being Valentine's Day, and how for some reason, many people believe you have some "mythical power" if you're born on some certain day like that. I think my birthday gave me the ability to bake 6 dozen cookies in just over an hour.
And lastly, I agree. Last night was pure insanity. And I enjoyed every minute of it.
word.
Sooo true. Since when have you had a blog, by the way? p.s. I love you!
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