Ok, so I really need your help here. If you will comment on anything, do it on this blog! I know these will seem like dumb questions, but I do want honest answers...
1. What are reasons for wanting to date someone?
2. How long should you know someone before "dating"?
3. What should you have to know before dating and what is acceptable to learn about them after you start dating?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
News!!!
I am definitely in a better mood. Still stressed, but better! I have come to the conclusion that I can deal with everything as long as I keep a positive attitude and remember the things I wrote down as my blessings. Plus, I seriously get more and more blessings every single day! I just have to keep my eyes open for them!
So just for an update, on Monday night I stayed up ALL NIGHT and I almost died. Don't ever do that. Especially if you're alone. I think I fell asleep a couple times (sshhh). I was supposed to do that for my EEG on Tuesday morning. So the morning rolls around (finally) and Jordan comes to bring me to my appointment (what a great home teacher!). We go to the hospital only to find the directions don't really make sense and we try to find the number for the place. I used the handy google texting to get the main number and finally, after some grumpy moments, we found the entrance. The test went well...I was able to sleep during it, but unfortunately it was only for about 15 minutes and I was mad that I had only that to make up for a whole night! The lady was nice though and I wasn't in a bad mood...so that was good.
The test got over at about 8:30 and the girl was nice enough to clean most of the goopy stuff out of my hair. After some deliberating, we found out my other appointment to get my heart monitor was not in the same building, but across the street. Bad planning from my neurologist. The funny thing is, I found out I'm pretty nice when I'm deliriously tired. But anyway, I got over to the other building after crossing the street in my interesting outfit (man-pants and a heavy coat...HOT). A nice old lady called me in and brought me to a room where she put on the monitor. She was SO cute. She told me I had to write stuff down throughout the day and to take it off the next morning around 9:30. Oh joy.
When I finally got out of the appointment around 9:35, I called up Jordan to see if he could pick me up even though it was so close to his class, but he said he really needed to go and to see if anyone else could do it. Of course I could find someone else, right? Well, I called a few more people only to get no answer or they were busy. Understandable, but what to do? I finally got a hold of Miguel, who doesn't have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and he said he could come. In fact, he said "of course." Aww. I found out later that he had just woken up, which makes that even nicer. Anyway, I got out of there around 10:30...I was so relived t be home! Miguel stayed for a little bit and borrowed a couple of movies before going, and then I got ready to catch up on my sleep! I knew it wouldn't be that good because of the annoying THING attached to my chest, but I would have to make due.
After a few hours of sleep, I ate something and lazily watched some shows and talked with roommates and such. The rest of the day is kinda blurry in my memory, probably because I was so out of it...but around 9ish, I tried to get a hold of Emily to go to Del Taco, but to no avail. I was sad...until she said to me on google talk that she lost her phone. Then we were losers together and that made us both feel better. I then got a really nice text from Miguel that made me feel happy. Gabby went to WalMart with Nick and she got me "Enchanted" and I was SO excited! Then Miguel called me and we talked. It was really a good night. I ended up going to bed around 1am and I didn't really sleep that well so I told my boss I couldn't make it again. I am so groggy, but I'm happy too. Who would have thought?
ANYWAY, the reason I wanted to write this blog is because I might have figured out what I have. Sorry, I get so sidetracked. In my appointments, I was reminded that syncope (pronounced sink-oh-pee...haha) is another word for fainting, so I looked up "seizure-like syncope" on google and found something! It didn't explain the seizure-like symptoms I have, but it does sound right. What I found is called "Neurocardiogenic Syncope." If you're curious, type it in to google and have a grand time! It made sense, and I am relieved to find that it isn't serious.
Well, I think this blog is PLENTY long enough for anyone, so if you want to know anything else, just tell me and I'll write another one! I hope everyone is having a great day!
So just for an update, on Monday night I stayed up ALL NIGHT and I almost died. Don't ever do that. Especially if you're alone. I think I fell asleep a couple times (sshhh). I was supposed to do that for my EEG on Tuesday morning. So the morning rolls around (finally) and Jordan comes to bring me to my appointment (what a great home teacher!). We go to the hospital only to find the directions don't really make sense and we try to find the number for the place. I used the handy google texting to get the main number and finally, after some grumpy moments, we found the entrance. The test went well...I was able to sleep during it, but unfortunately it was only for about 15 minutes and I was mad that I had only that to make up for a whole night! The lady was nice though and I wasn't in a bad mood...so that was good.
The test got over at about 8:30 and the girl was nice enough to clean most of the goopy stuff out of my hair. After some deliberating, we found out my other appointment to get my heart monitor was not in the same building, but across the street. Bad planning from my neurologist. The funny thing is, I found out I'm pretty nice when I'm deliriously tired. But anyway, I got over to the other building after crossing the street in my interesting outfit (man-pants and a heavy coat...HOT). A nice old lady called me in and brought me to a room where she put on the monitor. She was SO cute. She told me I had to write stuff down throughout the day and to take it off the next morning around 9:30. Oh joy.
When I finally got out of the appointment around 9:35, I called up Jordan to see if he could pick me up even though it was so close to his class, but he said he really needed to go and to see if anyone else could do it. Of course I could find someone else, right? Well, I called a few more people only to get no answer or they were busy. Understandable, but what to do? I finally got a hold of Miguel, who doesn't have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and he said he could come. In fact, he said "of course." Aww. I found out later that he had just woken up, which makes that even nicer. Anyway, I got out of there around 10:30...I was so relived t be home! Miguel stayed for a little bit and borrowed a couple of movies before going, and then I got ready to catch up on my sleep! I knew it wouldn't be that good because of the annoying THING attached to my chest, but I would have to make due.
After a few hours of sleep, I ate something and lazily watched some shows and talked with roommates and such. The rest of the day is kinda blurry in my memory, probably because I was so out of it...but around 9ish, I tried to get a hold of Emily to go to Del Taco, but to no avail. I was sad...until she said to me on google talk that she lost her phone. Then we were losers together and that made us both feel better. I then got a really nice text from Miguel that made me feel happy. Gabby went to WalMart with Nick and she got me "Enchanted" and I was SO excited! Then Miguel called me and we talked. It was really a good night. I ended up going to bed around 1am and I didn't really sleep that well so I told my boss I couldn't make it again. I am so groggy, but I'm happy too. Who would have thought?
ANYWAY, the reason I wanted to write this blog is because I might have figured out what I have. Sorry, I get so sidetracked. In my appointments, I was reminded that syncope (pronounced sink-oh-pee...haha) is another word for fainting, so I looked up "seizure-like syncope" on google and found something! It didn't explain the seizure-like symptoms I have, but it does sound right. What I found is called "Neurocardiogenic Syncope." If you're curious, type it in to google and have a grand time! It made sense, and I am relieved to find that it isn't serious.
Well, I think this blog is PLENTY long enough for anyone, so if you want to know anything else, just tell me and I'll write another one! I hope everyone is having a great day!
Monday, March 17, 2008
*Sigh*
Those of you who know me well know I hate to be unsure. I don't like dealing with the stress of not knowing what to do or feel about things. I constantly worry about whether I do things right.
Well, I'm in a complicated situation where I don't really know what to do with myself. I think I'm ok but then I second guess myself when something arises. I hate having to base my emotions on someone else. It's like that point where you should give more, but you can't because you're afraid of what will happen. If I give too much I could look like a fool. On the other hand, if I give too little I might lose it all. I hate hate hate this point!
Am I just too demanding? I just like to be around certain people, so I let them know. I don't mind if someone says they can't come to see me. I really don't. The only reason I invite anyone over is because I want them to know that they are welcome at any time. I want them to feel comfortable. Sometimes I think this invitation gets misunderstood and people assume I will be mad or upset if they don't come right that instant. I admit I am disappointed when someone says they can't come over when I invite them, but everyone gets a little down from that. I move on and figure out something else to do...I don't base my life upon whether someone can come entertain me. I hope everyone knows that.
So the next time I invite or ask you to do something or just to come over, I am not forcing you. I will not be mad at you if you refuse. I will only be sad for two seconds until I figure out something else to do. Please don't assume I would base any judgment on that. I love my friends dearly and the only thing I will admit guilt to is wanting to see them all the time. Isn't that natural?
Well, I'm in a complicated situation where I don't really know what to do with myself. I think I'm ok but then I second guess myself when something arises. I hate having to base my emotions on someone else. It's like that point where you should give more, but you can't because you're afraid of what will happen. If I give too much I could look like a fool. On the other hand, if I give too little I might lose it all. I hate hate hate this point!
Am I just too demanding? I just like to be around certain people, so I let them know. I don't mind if someone says they can't come to see me. I really don't. The only reason I invite anyone over is because I want them to know that they are welcome at any time. I want them to feel comfortable. Sometimes I think this invitation gets misunderstood and people assume I will be mad or upset if they don't come right that instant. I admit I am disappointed when someone says they can't come over when I invite them, but everyone gets a little down from that. I move on and figure out something else to do...I don't base my life upon whether someone can come entertain me. I hope everyone knows that.
So the next time I invite or ask you to do something or just to come over, I am not forcing you. I will not be mad at you if you refuse. I will only be sad for two seconds until I figure out something else to do. Please don't assume I would base any judgment on that. I love my friends dearly and the only thing I will admit guilt to is wanting to see them all the time. Isn't that natural?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Really wow!
Sometimes things happen when you really don't expect them to. I had an event like that last night. Just...wow...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wow More!
Now I thought to even things out a little, I would put up the things that I am grateful for. The things I live for and the reasons I am all right at the end of every day.
1. Heavenly Father. I have never had to doubt His existence nor his love for me. Needless to say, I have been frustrated with what I have had to accept from Him, but my faith never wavered. I have always known He means the best for me. His guidance leads me in everything.
2. New friends. Without the friends I have made this new semester, I know I would not be as happy as I am now. I was at such a low point, I needed anyone to turn it around. Someone who could come in with no judgment. I got that and much much more!
3. Old friends. Even now that I have changed and become my own person, I can be sure that my old friends will be there for me. Even if I am not the person they used to know, they are supportive of me and they love me unconditionally.
4. Blessings. Having to deal with not having an LDS family while at BYU is really hard for me sometimes. Especially when I want so badly for my family to see how amazing the church is and how much it affects my life now. I keep thinking they will see, but I can never tell what they truly feel about it. When I think about blessings, I realize that one day I will be able to receive one from my Dad. I don't know how long it will be or even if it will be in this life, but I know that someday he will be able to hold the authority to give me a blessing. Knowing this makes me feel so amazing.
5. Music. Sometimes I listen to the radio. Sometimes it's Rascal Flatts. Sometimes it's Goo Goo Dolls. Sometimes it's Metallica (that's pretty rare, but you know those times...). Sometimes I throw in a little Colin Raye to honky tonk it up (I'll admit I actually have some of him in my library). Those are fun moments.
6. Love. As much as I resent it at the same time, I just want to say that I truly am grateful for love. If anything, I am grateful for the memories of love in my life.
1. Heavenly Father. I have never had to doubt His existence nor his love for me. Needless to say, I have been frustrated with what I have had to accept from Him, but my faith never wavered. I have always known He means the best for me. His guidance leads me in everything.
2. New friends. Without the friends I have made this new semester, I know I would not be as happy as I am now. I was at such a low point, I needed anyone to turn it around. Someone who could come in with no judgment. I got that and much much more!
3. Old friends. Even now that I have changed and become my own person, I can be sure that my old friends will be there for me. Even if I am not the person they used to know, they are supportive of me and they love me unconditionally.
4. Blessings. Having to deal with not having an LDS family while at BYU is really hard for me sometimes. Especially when I want so badly for my family to see how amazing the church is and how much it affects my life now. I keep thinking they will see, but I can never tell what they truly feel about it. When I think about blessings, I realize that one day I will be able to receive one from my Dad. I don't know how long it will be or even if it will be in this life, but I know that someday he will be able to hold the authority to give me a blessing. Knowing this makes me feel so amazing.
5. Music. Sometimes I listen to the radio. Sometimes it's Rascal Flatts. Sometimes it's Goo Goo Dolls. Sometimes it's Metallica (that's pretty rare, but you know those times...). Sometimes I throw in a little Colin Raye to honky tonk it up (I'll admit I actually have some of him in my library). Those are fun moments.
6. Love. As much as I resent it at the same time, I just want to say that I truly am grateful for love. If anything, I am grateful for the memories of love in my life.
Wow!
You know that point where you have held in so much that the tiniest thing pushes you over the edge? Well, that happened to me on Wednesday. I had no idea it was coming; I didn't even know I was that stressed!
Well here's the story: I had to get my birth certificate sent to me from my Dad (he has it in a safe at my home) so my work could see it to prove I'm not illegal. Yeah, because I look illegal right? So I tried to ask him to send it over night because the lady wanted it in 2 days or she would fire me. He said it would cost over 16 dollars so I told him to fax it to me and see what would happen. I picked it up at the Info desk, laughed at my misspelled name, and went home. The next day, I brought in the copy to show the HR lady and the second she saw it she said it wouldn't work and she needed the original. Little did she know, I had spoken with Human Resources who said they should have been able to accept a copy (I found that they were wrong). When I tried to explain this to her I immediately started crying! I couldn't stop it because I had no idea it was coming, It's like standing peacefully on a beach when the Tsunami comes. I realized after the HR lady asked if I was ok that there were a lot of things wrong. I just hadn't sat myself down and really considered everything I was dealing with.
If I Start lesser to greater:
1) I have been having very very bad migraines that are literally making me throw up from the nausea they cause. I have missed a day and a half of work because of this. I think that's a little serious in itself, but alas, it's on the bottom.
2) All of my friends have moved on from me. This was a natural reaction to the serious relationship I was in, but it just wasn't the best thing when I needed to come back. As much as I understand why we aren't as close of friends anymore, it's still hard to accept that I am such a different person and that I need to organize my new life.
3) My dearest and longest friend is moving to Guatemala and I won't see her for a year.
4) My best friend is moving far away from me and I'm afraid I won't see him and I have been getting very upset lately every time I realize that he won't be in the same ward anymore.
5) I might have a disease that could make me really reconsider some things in life. I am very afraid of the tests. I need resolution on this issue at least to where I know how to fix it.
6) I need to find a place to live where I will be living with people I don't know in a ward full of people I have never met in my life.
7) My family. Enough said.
8) There is one main thing though. Unfortunately for everyone reading, I have chosen not to share this most important yet most stressful part of my life. I have approximated that it causes about 65% of my stress. If you can believe anything could be more stressful than the aforementioned things.
Well here's the story: I had to get my birth certificate sent to me from my Dad (he has it in a safe at my home) so my work could see it to prove I'm not illegal. Yeah, because I look illegal right? So I tried to ask him to send it over night because the lady wanted it in 2 days or she would fire me. He said it would cost over 16 dollars so I told him to fax it to me and see what would happen. I picked it up at the Info desk, laughed at my misspelled name, and went home. The next day, I brought in the copy to show the HR lady and the second she saw it she said it wouldn't work and she needed the original. Little did she know, I had spoken with Human Resources who said they should have been able to accept a copy (I found that they were wrong). When I tried to explain this to her I immediately started crying! I couldn't stop it because I had no idea it was coming, It's like standing peacefully on a beach when the Tsunami comes. I realized after the HR lady asked if I was ok that there were a lot of things wrong. I just hadn't sat myself down and really considered everything I was dealing with.
If I Start lesser to greater:
1) I have been having very very bad migraines that are literally making me throw up from the nausea they cause. I have missed a day and a half of work because of this. I think that's a little serious in itself, but alas, it's on the bottom.
2) All of my friends have moved on from me. This was a natural reaction to the serious relationship I was in, but it just wasn't the best thing when I needed to come back. As much as I understand why we aren't as close of friends anymore, it's still hard to accept that I am such a different person and that I need to organize my new life.
3) My dearest and longest friend is moving to Guatemala and I won't see her for a year.
4) My best friend is moving far away from me and I'm afraid I won't see him and I have been getting very upset lately every time I realize that he won't be in the same ward anymore.
5) I might have a disease that could make me really reconsider some things in life. I am very afraid of the tests. I need resolution on this issue at least to where I know how to fix it.
6) I need to find a place to live where I will be living with people I don't know in a ward full of people I have never met in my life.
7) My family. Enough said.
8) There is one main thing though. Unfortunately for everyone reading, I have chosen not to share this most important yet most stressful part of my life. I have approximated that it causes about 65% of my stress. If you can believe anything could be more stressful than the aforementioned things.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Bloggity Blog Blog
I'm sick today so I figured I could write a little sumthin sumthin
Well, I'm just waiting around for someone to blog about Iowa, but my waiting has proven pointless! In my despair, I realized that I was doing the same thing! I haven't mentioned it at all! My reasoning is that I have no pictures of the trip because I allowed everyone else to handle that (which resulted in some not-so-flattering pictures of me) so I guess my blog will just be boring and texty. Actually, here's a picture for your enjoyment:
That picture brings back a fun memory of the trip...haha. Just so you can enjoy this as much as me, I'll write an attempt at the words that were spoken in the car:
"So Pizza King's pizza wasn't that bad..."
"But it's the rival!"
(After a few moments) Alan: "Guys....the word SUCKING is in Pizza King"
(Pause to think about it) "How do you think of things like that Alan?"
Alan: "I don't know, but it's true!"
So there you go. We laughed. A lot. It was wonderful. Now I can't hear the title of that place without thinking of the word SUCKING. Adam came up with a good spelling though: Pizzucking. It fits perfectly, don't you think?
But anyway, on to other news. I got my I Heart CB shirt! I've been wanting on for so long...you have no idea! I'm glad I got the color I wanted, I was really hoping it would be there. Of all the colors I saw on everyone, that one was my favorite. And I put "EANAJ" on the back. I'm pretty satisfied with the result.
Oh and back to the pizza thing...we were able to make pizza! It was great, and I now have pizza leftovers...which is pretty much one of the best things ever. I have always loved pizza, and to be able to have one all to myself was like a dream come true! Obviously I shared it when we cooked it later, but it was still cool to know it was my choice to share or not. Also, the actual making of the pizza was pretty great and I'm glad the group was able to do it. Fun fact I learned: braiding pizza crust is really fun, even for a perfectionist.
Now for the reason we made the trip: the Wedding!! Obviously I wasn't able to see the actual temple ceremony, but it was wonderful all the same. It really hit me to see Sara's family so emotional and understanding. I have always worried about how my Dad will feel when he can't see me actually get sealed to my husband. I have had the opportunity to tell him this, and he know it will be that way, but I don't know how much it will really affect him when the day comes. It was nice to know that her parents were actually supportive of the situation, and they actually seemed to feel the impact and importance of the temple. I loved every second.
The ring ceremony was beautiful as well. I think I was the only one who was really affected by it though. That's completely understandable because most everyone else had grown up knowing that the temple is the place to get married. For those of us who didn't, that ceremony is very dear. As a girl, I always pictured my wedding (as all girls do), and of course there was no temple, because I didn't know any better. I had these pictures of outside weddings, church weddings, etc. but they were always the traditional walking down the aisle "til death do you part" weddings. I love that I can now have an even better vision of marriage and companionship. The temple has created such an amazing new perspective for me. At the same time though, I have a hard time letting go of my dreams as a kid. So we'll see how that goes. Hopefully it will go as smoothly as Sara's, and I hope I will be able to make it special for my member friends too.
After the ceremony, there was a very fun reception. It had a sit-down dinner, Alan laughing so hard he cried, strawberry aliens, and the best part: dancing! We missed a little bit of it because we went to the store and decorated the car, but the bit we were there for was a blast! They had a lot of really fun music that everyone could get into! They played one slow song, which was really fun, but I'm glad they only did one, because that can get awkward and annoying if there are too many. Overall, it was really a great reception! Good job Sara!
Alrighty, I suppose that's all I can think of to talk about. I would say more things, but without the pictures, it's pointless to even mention. I'll leave that stuff up to the rest of the group! Don't let me down guys!
Well, I'm just waiting around for someone to blog about Iowa, but my waiting has proven pointless! In my despair, I realized that I was doing the same thing! I haven't mentioned it at all! My reasoning is that I have no pictures of the trip because I allowed everyone else to handle that (which resulted in some not-so-flattering pictures of me) so I guess my blog will just be boring and texty. Actually, here's a picture for your enjoyment:
That picture brings back a fun memory of the trip...haha. Just so you can enjoy this as much as me, I'll write an attempt at the words that were spoken in the car:"So Pizza King's pizza wasn't that bad..."
"But it's the rival!"
(After a few moments) Alan: "Guys....the word SUCKING is in Pizza King"
(Pause to think about it) "How do you think of things like that Alan?"
Alan: "I don't know, but it's true!"
So there you go. We laughed. A lot. It was wonderful. Now I can't hear the title of that place without thinking of the word SUCKING. Adam came up with a good spelling though: Pizzucking. It fits perfectly, don't you think?
But anyway, on to other news. I got my I Heart CB shirt! I've been wanting on for so long...you have no idea! I'm glad I got the color I wanted, I was really hoping it would be there. Of all the colors I saw on everyone, that one was my favorite. And I put "EANAJ" on the back. I'm pretty satisfied with the result.
Oh and back to the pizza thing...we were able to make pizza! It was great, and I now have pizza leftovers...which is pretty much one of the best things ever. I have always loved pizza, and to be able to have one all to myself was like a dream come true! Obviously I shared it when we cooked it later, but it was still cool to know it was my choice to share or not. Also, the actual making of the pizza was pretty great and I'm glad the group was able to do it. Fun fact I learned: braiding pizza crust is really fun, even for a perfectionist.
Now for the reason we made the trip: the Wedding!! Obviously I wasn't able to see the actual temple ceremony, but it was wonderful all the same. It really hit me to see Sara's family so emotional and understanding. I have always worried about how my Dad will feel when he can't see me actually get sealed to my husband. I have had the opportunity to tell him this, and he know it will be that way, but I don't know how much it will really affect him when the day comes. It was nice to know that her parents were actually supportive of the situation, and they actually seemed to feel the impact and importance of the temple. I loved every second.
The ring ceremony was beautiful as well. I think I was the only one who was really affected by it though. That's completely understandable because most everyone else had grown up knowing that the temple is the place to get married. For those of us who didn't, that ceremony is very dear. As a girl, I always pictured my wedding (as all girls do), and of course there was no temple, because I didn't know any better. I had these pictures of outside weddings, church weddings, etc. but they were always the traditional walking down the aisle "til death do you part" weddings. I love that I can now have an even better vision of marriage and companionship. The temple has created such an amazing new perspective for me. At the same time though, I have a hard time letting go of my dreams as a kid. So we'll see how that goes. Hopefully it will go as smoothly as Sara's, and I hope I will be able to make it special for my member friends too.
After the ceremony, there was a very fun reception. It had a sit-down dinner, Alan laughing so hard he cried, strawberry aliens, and the best part: dancing! We missed a little bit of it because we went to the store and decorated the car, but the bit we were there for was a blast! They had a lot of really fun music that everyone could get into! They played one slow song, which was really fun, but I'm glad they only did one, because that can get awkward and annoying if there are too many. Overall, it was really a great reception! Good job Sara!
Alrighty, I suppose that's all I can think of to talk about. I would say more things, but without the pictures, it's pointless to even mention. I'll leave that stuff up to the rest of the group! Don't let me down guys!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Another update!
Ok, so I had my Neurologist appointment today. Very interesting. I'll put all the important things in a list:
1. I learned that Nguyen is pronounced "Win"
2. I might not have had seizures ever and I may have some disease
3. I don't remember the name of it because she said it once
4. I think she only said it once because I may have it and she didn't want me to Google it
5. I'm getting an EEG on March 18th
6. I think it's a good sign that they were ok with waiting that long
7. I have to have my heart monitored with some machine that I will carry around
8. My EEG appointment is going to be at 6:45am...eww
9. I have a HORRIBLE migraine that won't go away
10. I think I'll go to sleep now and maybe it'll go away
Ok that about sums it up! I think I'm ok other than the fact that I may have a rare hereditary disease. We'll see. I'm worried, but not as much as before. Good news? Meh.
1. I learned that Nguyen is pronounced "Win"
2. I might not have had seizures ever and I may have some disease
3. I don't remember the name of it because she said it once
4. I think she only said it once because I may have it and she didn't want me to Google it
5. I'm getting an EEG on March 18th
6. I think it's a good sign that they were ok with waiting that long
7. I have to have my heart monitored with some machine that I will carry around
8. My EEG appointment is going to be at 6:45am...eww
9. I have a HORRIBLE migraine that won't go away
10. I think I'll go to sleep now and maybe it'll go away
Ok that about sums it up! I think I'm ok other than the fact that I may have a rare hereditary disease. We'll see. I'm worried, but not as much as before. Good news? Meh.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Fill in for everyone
Since I know how curious I get about everything, I thought I would tell everyone what happened yesterday. I suppose I'm also writing this because I am kind of scared.
Sunday morning I was getting ready for church. Sarah was curling my hair due to the fact that I am completely incapable of doing it myself. It was going well when all of a sudden I got very dizzy. I sat down on the floor to see if it would go away. It didn't, so I bent over so my head was lower than the rest of my body. Still didn't work, so I laid down on the floor. The next thing I knew, I was waking up to Sarah screaming my name in a slight panic.
Whitney witnessed the whole thing. Apparently I fell onto my side and started shaking. I shook for about 15 seconds and then stayed passed out for about one minute. Whitney called the paramedics and I just laid there in shock at what had just happened. I didn't know why it had happened. I couldn't think of any reason why it should. I got worried about everything that could have caused it and all of the things that would happen now. Luckily Christina was there to comfort me while everyone else was handling other stuff.
The paramedics came and checked the important vitals and made sure I was ok, then said we were going to the hospital. I made sure to change first and we headed down the stairs. I saw all of my roommates and my home teacher downstairs as we left and I got my stuff. We went to the ambulance outside and I got to ride in one for the first time. We got in, they strapped me down and told me they were putting in an IV. Another first. When the guy put it in, I felt a really warm feeling on my arm. I looked over and realized it was my blood...apparently the needle didn't "seal." I shuddered and looked away and his response to this was "don't like blood?" Um...no...not when it's MINE.
But anyway, we got the IV in, which wasn't even that bad compared to giving blood. But then I just laid in the bed thing and rode along while the guy called the hospital and got everything ready. We got to the hospital, I was wheeled in and moved to room #3. Two rooms away from where we were before. Most of the visit was waiting in the room, but the other parts consisted of paperwork and tests. All of which said I was completely normal. Even my blood sugar was fine.
I got confused by this because I have actually had seizures in the past. The first one was when I was 11, but they started happening regularly about when I was 13. The last one happened when I was 16. Five years ago! During these years, I was under A LOT of stress, very malnourished, and had been getting very little sleep. No comparison to my circumstances now. I have been stressed but really not that much, I have been eating healthy, and I have been getting plenty of sleep. I even started exercising!
Then why did this happen, you may ask? Well so far nobody knows. This morning I had a very stressful time getting an appointment with a neurologist so they might be able to figure it out. The doctor strongly recommended it to make sure there isn't something seriously wrong. It's weird because I'm my feelings are little conflicting on this issue. On one point, I love hearing that I'm all right. It's usually comforting to hear a doctor say "you're completely fine." The problem it that I'm not fine. So if I hear that, I will be more uncomfortable. Ever since I had the seizures years ago, I was always afraid there was something else, but I was comforted by the fact that there were such extreme circumstances and I could assume that was the cause. But now I'm searching for another reason. I mean, obviously I don't want it to be anything horrible, but I do want them to actually be able to find something. Something that can be found and is able to be fixed. Well, I'll keep you guys posted on the test results.
But on a lighter note, last night I lost my mind! I did something crazy and I don't know why! Yay for the excitements of life!
Sunday morning I was getting ready for church. Sarah was curling my hair due to the fact that I am completely incapable of doing it myself. It was going well when all of a sudden I got very dizzy. I sat down on the floor to see if it would go away. It didn't, so I bent over so my head was lower than the rest of my body. Still didn't work, so I laid down on the floor. The next thing I knew, I was waking up to Sarah screaming my name in a slight panic.
Whitney witnessed the whole thing. Apparently I fell onto my side and started shaking. I shook for about 15 seconds and then stayed passed out for about one minute. Whitney called the paramedics and I just laid there in shock at what had just happened. I didn't know why it had happened. I couldn't think of any reason why it should. I got worried about everything that could have caused it and all of the things that would happen now. Luckily Christina was there to comfort me while everyone else was handling other stuff.
The paramedics came and checked the important vitals and made sure I was ok, then said we were going to the hospital. I made sure to change first and we headed down the stairs. I saw all of my roommates and my home teacher downstairs as we left and I got my stuff. We went to the ambulance outside and I got to ride in one for the first time. We got in, they strapped me down and told me they were putting in an IV. Another first. When the guy put it in, I felt a really warm feeling on my arm. I looked over and realized it was my blood...apparently the needle didn't "seal." I shuddered and looked away and his response to this was "don't like blood?" Um...no...not when it's MINE.
But anyway, we got the IV in, which wasn't even that bad compared to giving blood. But then I just laid in the bed thing and rode along while the guy called the hospital and got everything ready. We got to the hospital, I was wheeled in and moved to room #3. Two rooms away from where we were before. Most of the visit was waiting in the room, but the other parts consisted of paperwork and tests. All of which said I was completely normal. Even my blood sugar was fine.
I got confused by this because I have actually had seizures in the past. The first one was when I was 11, but they started happening regularly about when I was 13. The last one happened when I was 16. Five years ago! During these years, I was under A LOT of stress, very malnourished, and had been getting very little sleep. No comparison to my circumstances now. I have been stressed but really not that much, I have been eating healthy, and I have been getting plenty of sleep. I even started exercising!
Then why did this happen, you may ask? Well so far nobody knows. This morning I had a very stressful time getting an appointment with a neurologist so they might be able to figure it out. The doctor strongly recommended it to make sure there isn't something seriously wrong. It's weird because I'm my feelings are little conflicting on this issue. On one point, I love hearing that I'm all right. It's usually comforting to hear a doctor say "you're completely fine." The problem it that I'm not fine. So if I hear that, I will be more uncomfortable. Ever since I had the seizures years ago, I was always afraid there was something else, but I was comforted by the fact that there were such extreme circumstances and I could assume that was the cause. But now I'm searching for another reason. I mean, obviously I don't want it to be anything horrible, but I do want them to actually be able to find something. Something that can be found and is able to be fixed. Well, I'll keep you guys posted on the test results.
But on a lighter note, last night I lost my mind! I did something crazy and I don't know why! Yay for the excitements of life!
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